I spent about 5-6 hours last night,
burning a redundant midnight oil for someone.
Was almost late for the CQ meeting but it was cancelled.
*Phew, luckily.
Ystd's 5-6 hours was spent talking to about 5 people about "it".
Asking for opinions.
Fuck, I know this is like very whatever.
You must be thinking, "5 people for opinion?!"
But yes, I couldn't make up my mind.
Follow my heart.
I ended up going to bed with a fucking nehneh chaocheebye mood.
I was pissed off.
I was angry.
I was feeling helpless.
Millionsssssssss of things were running.
Flashbacks and all.
Fuck those flashbacks.
I'm angry at myself for not being able to keep "it" down.
I'm angry at myself for being so useless.
I'm angry at myself for the way things turned out today.
Fuck those fate.
Fuck those words.
Fuck those flashbacks.
I'm on my own.
A little sadness will always exist to make things balance out.
But it didn't had to be in this way.
I'm trying to be brave.
BUT I'M ACTUALLY MAKING MYSELF LOOK DESPERATE.
I'M ACTUALLY NOT WHO I USUALLY AM.
Omg, cheng, come on lah. Its nothing. These things always happen.
P.s/ I have been thinking alot to myself. Smiling to myself over nothing.
Loser at a losing game. It makes a double loser for me.