- screams! -

5.6.09, 12:10 AM
Viewer discretion is advised.

I WANNA SCREAM!
I WANNA SHOUT!
HEAR ME SCREAM AND SHOUT!
Its really hard to be a human.
Sometimes, I wish I could just slip and fall.
Fall into a deep coma.
And my spirit could wander around looking at the whole world,
without being noticed by people that I'm actually present there.
Sometimes, I just get so sick and tired of life.
Tired of trying to please people.
But I know, these are arranged by God.
I don't blame anyone how my life sucked in this way.
I don't blame anything / anyone for anything that happened.
I'm glad I got a better life in poly.
And I don't bear grudges for every quarrel I'm gonna have in future.
I'm just not gonna hesitate anymore.
People, this is CHENG.
Please accept me for who I am.
If you find me noisy, this is me.
If you find me ugly, this is me.
If you find me attention seeking, this is fuck shit.
I don't try to get attention.
In fact I hate the attention I receive more than anyone of you do.
I hate the attention I get whenever I play with my friends.
Yes I am loud and noisy, big in action.
But I'm just being myself when I'm with my friends.
If you think I'm attention seeker.
So why bother giving me the attention that you guys are talking about?
Don't give me any attention! I will be more glad than anything else.
Give me a break.
I really need one.
_
Thank you so much for being there for me these few days.
Thank you for talking to me and your advices.
Abigail, Darrion, Chester, Hao Teng, Tam, Royston, Mel, Chuan Wei.
You guys really spent more than just an hour to talk sense into me.
You guys are reall awesome.
I love you guys.
_
There were several people who talked to me too.
People who made an effort to cheer me up.
Charmaine, John, Kar Wee, Syah, Dexter, Hubbi, Mike, Hakim, Kun Hao.
Thank you guys.
Wonderful people I've ever met in Poly.
Thanks.
_
Going for a medical checkup soon.
Let's just pray and hope that nothing is wrong.
I wish my sister's diagnose for me is wrong.
I wish all these symptoms are just pure tiredness.
I wish everything remain the same for me.
Lastly, I love you.
Y